Managing Conflict

Managing Conflict

One of the things I learned early on the job is the inevitability of conflict. Whenever two or more people are engaged in an enterprise, there is bound to be conflict. Face it--conflict is inescapable in life and in any organization.

There are several kinds of conflicts: disagreements over strategies for accomplishing objectives, differing views about the objectives themselves, and times when people are in conflict over their personal values. Conflict over values are the hardest to negotiate. But a determination to manage conflict creatively is an important value in itself.

There are three ways organizations deal with conflict: a) avoid it, b) try to overpower the opponent, and c) invite the opponent to join a creative problem solving effort to solve the problem and thereby manage the conflict.

Too often people in organizations try to deny or avoid conflict. The disputants turn to tactics and passive-aggressive maneuvering which produces all kinds of dysfunctional behavior unrelated to the conflict, thus burying the real problem from constructive action. Efforts to overpower the other party always end with winners and losers, as parties consciously or unconsciously seek ways to get back at each other. How better to kill creative effort in behalf of the organization's goals!

Next time you find yourself in conflict you might offer a series of steps to first clear the air and then move to a creative problem solving approach to manage it. In fact, see what you can do to encourage a method for managing conflict that is widely known and accepted throughout the organization. Notice I did not say it would end the conflict. Conflict is inevitable. It is a source of energy for people who care about the enterprise. The key is developing an agreed upon method for managing it.

Some steps for managing conflict are:

1. Include only the parties to the dispute, no onlookers.
2. Agree on the steps you are about to take.
3. Dump the garbage, i.e. invite the parties to say how the issue and the other person’s behavior has affected them. Let each person speak without interruption or rebuttal.
4. Repeat or say back what you think you are hearing from the other party and let them correct what you think you heard.
5. Describe (and agree) on the problem.
6. Brainstorm possible solutions, even if they sound crazy at first. (This is the creative part.)
7. Jointly select and agree on the most promising solutions and what the parties agree to do.
8. Write down the agreement so it can be later reviewed and modified if necessary.
9. Review the agreement periodically to see if it’s still working.

When the conflict is serious enough a third party mediator can help the parties hear each other and engage in constructive steps to manage it.

Any enterprise succeeds on two bases: shared goals and the ability to manage conflict.

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